Seriously? My blog sucks.

It took me like 5 minutes to figure out how to make a post.

I bet no one's going to read this. But I think I'm a pretty funny, witty person, so I'm gonna blog. Blog, blog, blog.

Hello, I'm Mariah. Call me that. Don't call me Mariah Carey. Unless you are over 50, because old people are awesome, and can say whatever they want. But I doubt that anyone over 50 would read a blog titled "Skull Fuck," so I better just not see anyone calling me that.

This is what I look like:

I'm a mischievous mother fucker. Also, I'm incredibly cocky, so if you call me ugly or something, I won't believe you and I will laugh like this: Ha Ha Ha!


An important thing you need to know about me is that I have a boyfriend. And I hate to be hit on. Like, a lot. I don't think it's cute. I don't want you, kay?
My boyfriend is amazing. His name is Alex, but I call him Baby. I never call him Alex. No idea why. It's just weird. But in my blog, I will refer to him as Alex, because I understand the confusion and anxiety it will cause in my (soon-to-be) readers if I kept saying things about "Baby." (I was exaggerating about the confusion and anxiety thing, but if you feel this way while reading anything in my blog, let me know, so I can feel like I accomplished something.)

Yes, with this blog, I want to completely skull-fuck people. I plan on blogging about the strangest things that most people probably don't think about. But I'm a funny little person, and I think about everything. And sharing is caring, so I bring my thoughts to you. I've never done this before, so bear with me while I try to figure this crap out.

So, for now, goodbye. I will be trying to figure out how to make my blog all fancy and what-not.