Wednesday, February 9, 2011

My niece is the anti-Christ

Before I begin, you need to know what my niece looks like. I won't post a picture, because she's not my daughter and I'm not sure if my sister would appreciate me posting a picture of her child on my blog. So, I will post my version of her.
Don't be fooled by the blond hair, blue eyes, and suffocating sweetness. It's all an act.
First off, the possibility of this occurred to me in a dream. Dreams can sometimes be scarily accurate. I can't recall the details of the dream, I just know it was said in there somewhere that she was the anti-Christ.
She's a super sweet little 4-year old. She's spoiled rotten, and even I give her whatever she wants. She has the world wrapped around her adorable little finger. Sweetness usually disguises something much more sinister. She's plotting our demise while she hugs us and tells us how much she loves us. I respect her devilish mischief. 
She has a strange obsession with skulls and crossbones or just skulls. Being the creepy person that I am, most the the time my clothing has a skull somewhere on it. She LOVES them. She came over to my house one time and wore a faux rhinestone skull necklace I own the whole time.
She has a "boyfriend." This boyfriend is Astro Boy. Doesn't sound evil yet? Just wait. According to her, he is dead. She's fine with this. It disturbs me.
The last evidence is a recent event that happened. She was in my room, and I was playing computer games. She was watching me. I found a cute game where you raise a baby chick. You must complete an action, like bathing it, to unlock another action. I finally unlocked an action icon that looked like a bike. Upon clicking on it, it expanded to completely fill the screen, then it flipped over and turned into a chicken slaughtering machine. The baby chick was slaughtered and turned into bloody meat. It was quiet, and then my niece laughed and asked to play it again. This is the conversation that followed.
Me: Let's play another game...
Niece: No!
Me: This is a bit gruesome though...
Niece: I like it!
Me: You are a strange child.
Niece: (sigh) Sometimes, I am.

She's the most precious possible anti-Christ ever.

1 comment:

You love me.